I have a condition known as impatience

Its been a decent week for the writing finished a couple more things that will surface when I’m not too tired, my throat is playing games, I’m avoiding sleep again, the net was down for a couple days which pushed back the booklet plans, I did something impulsive which payed off, but has made me curse at the phenomenon known as time and I’ve been in a darkly sarcastic mood. I put the last part down to my having to wait till August to see someone special, frustrating as hell which has put me in a mood.

Will be good to see D and talk to T properly as well as some other people Sunday night, then back to counting the days.

Fourteen Days

Outside the train station
carrying a bag of sadness
I say I’ll come back

She nods and says okay
but the way she looks at me
is hopeful disbelief

Leaving the airport
no smoking signs surround me
I’m back in Brisbane

I have
to wait till Monday
to see her again
anticipation builds

At the pub for second drinks
theres a familiar face
whose lost his dearest thing

His heart is in his glass
reminiscing of the past
are they truly at an end?

His loss spans the oceans
I cannot fathom it
or reach out to him

Befriending
a German who tests
my trust in strangers
she became my new sister

In the Valley I’m misplaced
she’s running late
I’m pointed toward Chinatown

Finally face to face
dinner in a quiet space
we talk of everything

Eye contact is constant
neither of us can stop smiling
or eating each others food

We discover
an inability to read
the opposite sex
and say what we feel

On the riverbank its raining
jumping on the CityCat
tie whipping in the wind

Back at the hostel hoping
to write in peace and silence
at the table people gravitate

Despite my best efforts
I can never be alone here
I’m happy for diversions

Relaxed
in the company of strangers
we share no history
bonds form easily

We meet by Casablancas
sharing some Thai food
my God shes beautiful

Sharing silly jokes
missing the punchlines
I’m lost in her eyes

Walls still hold us back
no one takes the plunge
we’re still not there

I never
wanted it to end
because I’m never sure
when I’ll see her again

Can’t get myself together
too much uncertainty
where do I go from here?

The days are mine alone
walking the city streets
replaying the evening

Was there an opening
a way to open up the door?
I’m never quite sure

Gambling
isn’t in my blood
I hold the die too tightly
and rarely let them roll

Construction sounds are close
I put on my headphones
the batteries gone flat

Next day the sounds are closer
drifting off to music
a hole opens up near my head

Covered in plaster dust
screaming at the jackhammer
in my underwear

A man
lost inside a book
on his last day in the country
I offer him a victory

The merry band of backpackers
help me win the quiz night
we celebrate like vikings

Stumbling upon the plans
to build a makeshift boat
and sail in the river

Leaving the land rover
stealing parts that we need
heart pounding at the thievery

Too lazy
we never built that boat
but we all joined forces
and got pissed in the park

Everyone else backs out
I’m feeling drunk and fearless
putting on a pink dress

Singing at karaoke
dress riding up above my hips
the photographs are everywhere

We leave for another place
not bothering to get changed
oblivious to stares

A guy
who doesn’t hear no
tried his luck with me
he’s lucky he went unscathed

Friday night I’m nervous
I leave the shirt and tie
walking to the West End

In a Greek resturant
we make each other laugh
the tables been long cleared

Listening to my adventures
and my love for her town
she asks, why don’t I move here?

To have
A brand new start
get away from Melbourne
and come here to stay

A rugby game is playing
stuck on the William Jolly
I tell her I’ll be back

A final look in each others eyes
saying our goodbyes
theres hope no disbelief

Hope is always there
no need to despair
in the pub I wanna celebrate

The last night
I party with the band
making it harder not to stay
right here in Brisbane

In the cold morning
having my last cigarette
whilst admiring the view

Theres unfinished business
and I’m outta time
I need longer than two weeks

The decision has been made
to join my new sister
and move to a town I call Bane

It was hard
to accept I couldn’t stay
but as the days keep passing
I know I’ll see her again

Roll out

Before the trip I made a booklet of my writing using a drawing I’d done called Face. I only made three copies but the people who recieved them seemed to like it. I’ve done a second drawing which I’ve called You Have Been Disconnected and plan to, along with Face, make a whole bunch of copies to send around to anyone interested  and other places. It’s bout time I did something more proactive with my writing.

The I’m stuck here blues

Great to be paid even if it wasn’t for many shifts. I’m glad to be working heavily now and saving cash. Went to the city for the first time since coming back and didn’t feel any of the usual resentment, I didn’t feel anything. Just went got my comics chatted with the gang and went to work. It makes things easier, but I still really don’t want to be here. Not long till August.

I’m starting to miss not having a night life, but money had a part to play in that. Even still I didn’t go out at all this weekend, I don’t want to go to the city which is where most of my adventuring usually takes place.

People need to start having some house parties methinks.

A Clarity of Focus

The greatest Muse
I’m heaviest for
Time hasn’t sullied
Her inspiration
or wrinkled her beauty
Her city recharges
galvanised to work
A trickle of words
to shape with care
For my Muse
I demand a perfection
matching hers

Pain travels
Her home, her presence
an antidote
that needs no liquor
to wash it down
The hearts depth
cannot convey
the weather of change
Pain creeps back
during my absence
I work towards
stronger medication

In A World Of Blue

The Pink Room’s hypnotic like an old noir film.

Sycamore Trees invites ghosts to join me for a walk through fog filled streets.

Big sister

Its good to keep busy. Got briefed on one job and doing a pilot for another which keeps me on my toes. With luck I’ll be working till Sunday and everyday next week. I really need to see about that pay rise.

Got some pieces in the works, ones completed in my head just not in the right order and words for the second one are slow in coming. Plus about 4 others on the go, I’ll get something finished soon.

Poking around I’m happy to see rent looks significantly cheaper up north and a new friend from my second trip will be looking to move in november aswell.

Is the Giant related to the Dwarf?

The gold box cover of Twin Peaks had been staring at me for close to a year I think, but I could never bring myself to watch it. When something reminds you of a time you’d like to move away from you tend to avoid things. Getting home from another amazing trip up north I saw the box and thoughts of avoidance just seemed silly.

I’ve caught up to where I left off and I like the show, but I can see why it got the axe. Do people really care about Nadine the middle aged eye patch wearing teenager with super strength? Andy Vs Dick for the love of a Moran? C’mon the murders been wrapped up so compell me dammit!

I has it

The photos make it harder to swallow that I’m in Melbourne. Set backs to August have arisen in the form of fines, lack of work (for this week anyway) and an urgent phone bill. I’m going to have to put in for some long hours and big weeks and probably stop doing a couple of filthy things I enjoy so I can be in Bane for the Queensland Poetry Festival, see that someone special and plan for the big end of year jump.

There is nothing I’ve ever wanted as badly as this and I’m up for it. I’m going to pursue this clean slate, close a book and then put more focus into writing than I ever have.  Eat it setbacks I’m fucken invincible.

Bad ayass

Had some really awesome adventures and have some pretty damn good stories to tell. Instead of writing it all down I’m doing a piece about everything that happened.

I have decided on another visit in August (Queensland Poetry Festival) then an eventual move in November. I’ll be working alot to save money and not doing much in the way of public appearences, much like I did between my first and second vists to Bane.