Honestly, honesty

I’ve been asked what I’d do in this situation if places were reversed and telling people I’d not go through with it was not believed. I have found a way to explain it better.

My ethical values mean much to me and in this situation I stuck by my values even though I knew there was much to lose. To have values is one thing, but to stick by them is something else. It would have been so easy to rationalise things accept it and maintain friendships and probably better for me in the long run. Just one problem. To do so would be at the expense of my ethics, make them null and void and to be lying to myself.

Breaking away was never a rash decision or easy, but it had to be done. It has made my depression worse, to the point, well never mind that, it has cost me two friends and has put other friendships to near breaking point. I’m numb, broken and pretty much a mess, but there is one thing I can do each and everyday. I can think back on my decisions and know that I am without a doubt an honest person.

Now if the positions were reversed I’d also fall back on my ethics and done the following. Talked to my friend about my interest and developing love for his ex and asked him his feelings. If he ever had an issue with me pursuing a relationship I’d stop. It would be difficult to do, but it would be done out of respect for him and to continue on would be a breach of my personal ethics. Besides I’d also realise and understand that a month is much too soon for such things and at least hold off for a while then talk to him about it.

A person who rationalises away their beliefs or does not stick by them is nothing. Sticking by your values in the face of a potential storm of shit is the measure of a person. This is not me saying other people are nothing or dishonest, I’m just saying how I feel about my actions.