You know your problems, ain’t exactly new

January 17, 2011

I sometimes think life would be easier if I were gay, but one of my best mates is gay and he’d probably tell me that’s bullshit.

Sometimes history is history and other times it only complicates things. I’m truly sick of complicated situations. I had a whole rant planned out, but thanks to my computer being a bitch to load and a glass or five of wine I’ve cooled my jets. The frustration however lingers.

This is usually the time where I cut my losses and stop trying, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to give up and move on, nor do I like the idea of trying to changing someones mind.  But there is something there.

More, something more is what I’d felt ready for, for a long time. Then my depression hit again at a bad time and I shut myself off. I feel I’ve bounced back somewhat and finding someone who gets me is hard. That this wonderful woman used to be in love with a friend of mine did plague me, but he’s moved on. My association with him however is something she doesn’t think she can get past.

I understand it I really do, but I know she likes me and she was the one who originally pursued me. Sex the thing that feels soooooooo good only fucks things up. The thing is though I don’t want another female friend, my track record with lady friends isn’t much better than with women I’ve loved and lost. With that in mind I’m going to keep trying and I’m willing to play the long game and take my time.

No Rachel Hunter nothing happens overnight, but I will get some restless fucking sleep.


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